Welcoming Dmitriyus Hektor Alan Into This World

Home Birth Rocks!

Over the past week or so I have struggled with whether or not I should post this blog. This story and these pictures are sacred to me in a profound way and exposing them for judgement is something I do hesitantly. That being said I feel that sharing positive birth stories and experiences is SO important and I have gained so much from brave woman sharing their stories with me that I hope to return that gift with my own. If birth stories/imagery is not your thing I politely ask that you move on from this post and keep your comments to yourself and if it is your thing then welcome and enjoy!

Friday July 25, 2014 I was 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant I had decided to take a "labour cocktail" to try and encourage baby to make its way out. I wasn't particularly done with being pregnant, but I did want to try and naturally encourage baby out before the hospital politics got involved. Sadly, here, we have a misunderstanding of due dates and what they mean and because of that woman are often pressured based on those dates. At any rate I figured that it would be best to encourage baby a bit and took the cocktail. The mix of juice, almond butter, castor oil and various other things seemed to get twinges going and by that evening I was having fairly regular braxton hicks like contractions, but they still weren't painful so I decided to head to bed and try and get another nights sleep as baby could come any time.

At around 12:30am on Saturday July 26, 2014 I woke up to more painful contractions. I couldn't sleep anymore so I decided to get out of bed and try to encourage them along. They came and went but seemed to be getting more regular. Adam and Marek were up with me and we just busied ourselves getting the house ready. At around 3:00am I called my midwife and let her know that things were picking up. She advised me to take a warm bath as it could stop false labour or encourage it if it was the real thing. I took her advise and got in the tub. My contractions got stronger and closer together so I felt confident that my labour had actually started! At around that time Adam called Miranda, the wonderful woman that was setting up my birth pool and she showed up by 4:30am to set up. I was still in the tub but when I got out my beautiful pool was filling up in my living room and it really felt like things were going to happen. My baby was coming and I couldn't wait. At some point during the night I had also called my mom to let her know things were happening and when my contractions kept up I called her again to let her know to head over. She came at around 6:00am bearing many delicious snacks and settled into looking after Marek.

Thats when things got tough, my labour slowed to almost nothing and I began to feel discouraged. I was texting my midwife and my birth team, but really didn't know what to tell them. Things had pretty much stopped and here I was with a birth pool, food and no sleep thinking it had all been for nothing. I decided to go try and nap to see if things would pick up again and they did a little with multiple strong contractions, but they were still far apart enough to not need any action. At around 9:00am my awesome Doula showed up and we hung out for a while and then at  9:30 my midwife came to check on me. Her check showed that I had dilated to 6cm overnight which meant that things had happened! Thank God! But I still wasn't in active labour so she headed out and told me to let her know as soon as things picked up or my water broke.

The next few hours were an agonizing game of cat and mouse. Contractions would start and stop. Get closer together then farther apart and increase and decrease in intensity. Adam and I took walks around our courtyard, I bounced on my labour ball, I ate, drank, laughed and felt like crying because I felt like I had no idea when I was going to get to meet my baby. I was frustrated because I felt like I had called people for nothing and I really didn't want to pack up and go back to waiting.

Then at around 3:30pm things began to pick up again and this time it didn't slow. I shifted from trying to bring contractions on to finally being able to focus on coping with them. Shortly after that I sent a text to my midwife telling her that things were happening and that I needed her there. She was there before I knew it and began setting up all her equipment for the safe birth of my sweet babe.

I was vaguely aware of people taking pictures (something I had asked for and the greatest gift) so I will continue the story with those. 

Breathing through contractions, reading my affirmations and being powerfully and gently supported by the love of my life.

His words of encouragement were invaluable. An amazing source of strength as I began to battle with the growing intensity of my contractions. 

One of my beautiful midwives taking gentle care of me. Her quiet strength, knowledge and the security she brought was incredible. She asked my permission for everything and performed all her care skillfully and respectfully. This is midwifery. She allowed me to be in charge of my birth while also being my guardian and protector. I cannot express how thankful I am for her. 

Clearly the environment was a relaxed one as :) Marek was so well taken care of that I was able to fully relax knowing that loving hands had him always.

Eventually I got in the pool and the relief it brought was immense. I was surround by warm comfort and my body was able to relax without much weight or pressure.

Because my active labour was so short the contractions were long, hard and close together. Adam was with me through almost every single one.

The strength and vulnerability in labour is a beautiful thing..

Marek was so sweet and helpful. He would often come up to me and whisper "Hi Mum" and he stroked my face and hair..

Taking Ina May's advice to kiss through contractions. It was worth it :)

As contractions increased I began to feel the need to push. My midwives were so hands off allowing me to focus on following the needs of my body.

But they were never far away. Always watching and waiting patiently. Also note the lovely pregnant belly! It was really a neat thing to be supported by a woman so close to meeting her own sweet baby!

After a while of pushing I could feel my baby's head on my cervix, but he wasn't budging. It seemed I still had a bit of a cervical lip that was keeping baby back. Some of the hardest labouring was having to stop pushing for a while to let my contractions finish their work. Eventually my midwife suggested that I change positions to help open things up, but I didn't want to listen. Lesson learned :)

My other amazing midwife! So calm and relaxed. Such a peaceful presence to have in the room. 

I had so much support. On the left is my stellar doula who was a source of comfort and hydration. On the couch is an amazing woman training to be a midwife. She was a huge blessing at my birth and captured many of the images that I will treasure for the rest of my life. And of course my husband and constant source of strength. 

Eventually I did listen to my midwife and got out of the pool. As soon as I stood up I felt a shift. The movement had removed the cervical lip and suddenly my baby was on its way down. It took about three pushes and Adam supporting my whole weight. 

And at 7:50pm I reached down and delivered my son. His cord was around his neck, but I instantly knew what to do. I quickly pulled it over his head and brought him to my chest. It was quite possibly the most powerful moment of my life, standing there in my living room taking charge of my birth and having a birth team that respected me enough to know that a woman can birth and care for her own baby. I love this picture for so many reasons. Adam's face is glorious, the relief on my own, my midwife's hand supporting, protecting, but not invading. She let me have my moment and I will forever be grateful for it!

The first looks at our sweet son.

The littlest birth attendant! His facial expression kills me!

Checking out all his teeny tiny bits and pieces!

So much love and joy!

That pouty lip! Oh my heart!

Some of my amazing team!

The full picture that I had to include because it is freaking hilarious!

This moment... Incredible for me.

This is a more birthy picture, but again it shows the awesome care you get with midwives. Here I am on my own couch just being loved on and cared for! So priceless and yet they are covered by msp. How can you go wrong with that?

Skin to skin with daddy!

Somebody is wide awake and looking for more milk :)

Gentle infant exams. Baby never had to leave us 

When I was holding Dmitriy I kept saying how tiny he was and how he was so much smaller than Marek had been. I will never forget the look on her face as she weighed him, fully laughed and asked how much I thought he was! At 9'8" he weighed almost a pound more than Marek did!

My precious chunky man! Even though he was big, my midwife said that the amount of vernix he had on him meant that he was likely just 40 weeks gestation. I am so thankful for care providers that trust birth and woman's bodies rather than just schedules. Others might have induced me unnecessarily which would likely have led to complications. Instead I had a perfectly cooked bubs that came when he was ready. 

Introducing Marek was a true joy! He loved seeing his baby after talking about it for so long!

More precious moments.

My boys.

Thankful.

Dmitriy's birth was an incredible experience. It strengthened my relationship with Adam and gave us an unforgettable experience as a couple. It made me an undying advocate for midwifery and the women that were there for me. It allowed me to birth and recover in the way that I needed. But more than all of that it gave me a confidence in myself that I couldn't imagine. It was my personal Everest and I conquered it.

Special Thanks to:
West Coast Health Collective: http://wchealthco.com/
Yellow Bird Birth: http://yellowbirdbirth.com/
Elderberry Birth: http://www.elderberrybirth.com/

January 31

One year ago today I got some pretty life changing news. This is the letter I wrote on that day:

January 31, 2012

Dear Baby,

I just found out about you. I had my suspicions for a while but today I took a test and two little pink lines confirmed that you were indeed there. My first reaction was shock. Quite honestly your daddy and I are still pretty young and we didn't plan for you. I feel unprepared for everything that you will bring into our lives, but I also feel something else. I feel so blessed. I know that maybe our timing is a bit off but ultimately you are an amazing miracle that I just can't wait to meet. Just knowing that you are inside me right now just fills me with such a sense of pride and joy that I can barely handle it! I already love you and I already want whats best for you. I have started looking at all the things I can't do while you're hanging out in my tummy and they are all things I am thrilled to give up if it means you will be happy and healthy! I know that this day marks the beginning of a long journey that at times will be hard for both of us. I'm not gonna lie, the idea of pushing you out of me it kinda freaking me out, but I know it will be worthwhile. I know that I won't always be the perfect mommy. I know that sometimes you won't like me and your daddy. Some days you might think that we are just so annoying or that we make decisions just to make your life harder, but I hope that over all of that, that above all that you will know that we love you. That you are so precious, even in these first few hours, even while I am still coping with the idea of being your mommy, the first and foremost thought in my mind is how I can do my best to help you grow up to be all that you can be. I hope that you will always know that I will stand up for you, stand behind you and stand in the way of any who try to harm you. You are a gift from God little one. A gift that I am excited to hold, excited to kiss, excited to hear and see and smell, excited to snuggle and even excited to change. This is a crazy world you are going to grow up in love, but as of right now you have a cheer squad just waiting for you to show up. I guess what all my ramblings are trying to say is that I love you. That’s what it will always come down to. Please remember that no matter what.

From the bottom of heart,

Mommy

Its been a crazy ride so far, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I love my little family more than I can put into words and I am so thankful to God for how he works all things for good.

Life With Marek

Part of me feels as though the first two weeks of Marek's life have gone by so fast, but at the same time I can't seem to remember living without him. It sort of feels as though life before him was a dream. On October 6th, 2012, God blessed me with what I imagine was a fairly easy labour and delivery. Don't get me wrong, it was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I was able to labour almost entirely at home so when I finally got to the hospital 15 hours after the first contraction I was only there for about 4 hours before Adam caught and held our baby for the first time and (after having his cord unwrapped THREE times) he was placed on my chest for his first mommy snuggles. Since that moment he has been thriving. God answered all three of my biggest prayers in regards to the beginning of my baby's life. The first was that he would be healthy and safe, the second was that I would be able to deliver him naturally without induction or the use of an epidural and the third was that he would nurse well. Now, at just over two weeks old he has gained almost a pound on his birth weight and even our midwives say they have never seem a baby that is doing as well as he at his age. 

I have to say that in spite of the sleep deprivation and adjusting to having another person in our lives who is completely dependent on us we are loving every second with our baby. As far as babies go he is an angel and his funny faces and tiny noises are cause for continuous giggles from both of us. I cannot count how many times Adam and I have looked at each other and exclaimed "He is just so cute! How can anything be this adorable!" and no matter how many times I look at him it strikes me again just the same.  Listening to Adam changing diapers is also pretty hilarious. Because Marek is not a fan of diaper changes Adam's coping mechanism is to keep up a constant stream of dialogue that ranges from his and Marek's shared distress over the NHL lockout (he knows they share it because of the crying) to a detailed explanation of the diaper changing procedure as I am sure he believes a thorough understanding of the steps will help his baby cope with the unpleasantness of cold wipes on a warm bottom. Whether or not this is true it makes me smile to myself every time.

It amazes me how many things you can learn from such a tiny person in such a short amount of time. Patience, bathing techniques, hasty communication, and how to function on no sleep to name a few! All three of our lives changed drastically since the moment Marek came into the world and even though this journey hasn't been easy it has been so worth every ache, every pain, and every meltdown. We are so excited for all this little man will bring into our lives and the lives of those around him. He his such a blessing and we can't wait to get to know him better. While I am trying to soak up every second of his time as my little baby, I am also eager for the days when he can share his own ideas and thoughts with us and we can learn more about his heart and soul. 

When I look at my son its hard not to see the profound and breathtaking grace of God. As I watch him screw up his tiny little face or hold his perfectly formed hand I can't help but wonder why he was given to us to care for. After all of our mistakes and failures, after everything we have done to dishonour God, somehow he saw fit to, in return, honour us with the most precious gift. There is no getting around the fact that we, in no way, deserve this little boy that has been entrusted to us and yet here we are. So now it is my goal to try to live a life worthy of his. To try to be the example that I should be and to endeavor to become a person that he can be proud of and that God would want me to be for him. 

To sum it all up, I am one very blessed mama :)

Concentrated Blogging!

So its been quite a while... The unfortunate thing about having so many wonderful things to blog about  is that I have had almost no time to actually blog. So now its time for some major catch up! Here's whats been happening over the past month or so!

On September 8th Adam and I got married!

            

On September 8th Adam and I moved into our new place!

Some of our wonderful wedding flowers with our perfect little willow tree figure :) 

Baby station! 

Photo wall restarted!

On September 24th We launched our crowd-funding campaign to send Adam's board game, HoneyQuest, to the Vancouver Gaming Expo!

On September 26th we had our Engagement/Wedding/Maternity photos done by the lovely Kirsten Lee!

On September 30th Our baby's due date came.. And went.

AND on October 6th our beautiful baby boy Marek Micheal Bruce Lapka was born at 8:29pm weighing 8lbs 11oz!

So thats pretty much it... :p
Now that I have covered all that I hope to resume regular blogging soon!